June 2025

Read for your rising sign

Last month we discussed Saturn's last stand in Pisces. This month, the dark god of cold moves into the warm spring sign of Aries and conjoins the titan of the Sea, Neptune. This combination of otherworldly outer planets might have some people expecting the astrological apocalypse. But let’s not forget the call to action that planets receive when visiting the temple of Mars and the Sun. What brings light to this potent combination of dualities better than a little sardonic horoscopic humor? ;)

Aries

You wake up one morning to realize that you are aging, overweight, and tired. The funny thing is, you are not that old or overweight, but you are tired. The not so funny thing is that it’s definitely not getting any easier. But nobody said it was going to be easy. If the proverbial “they” didn’t tell you that ultimately health and wellbeing is in your hands, then let me be the one to remind you. 

Taurus 

You know that weird dream you keep having where that special someone is gently breathing on your neck? It is slightly erotic and also very confusing because every time you wake up you realize it’s just your dog. That is definitely your subconscious trying to tell you something. It’s probably not what you think though. You tell me! What do you think it is trying to tell you?  

Gemini 

People are generally pretty annoying, especially when you are a Gemini and your next shadow twin lies just around the corner. That is if you ever got over the first one? The good news is that a Gemini, who actually takes a moment for self reflection, will for sure become one of the coolest and most fun people to be around. Take that as your cue.

 Cancer 

Work is so overrated. Public reputation even more so. Everybody is peacocking around, pretending to be someone they are not. Meanwhile the game is up. Everybody knows everyone is faking it. Now is your turn to be the person who breaks the ice and just be yourself. Most people won’t like it but they will secretly thank you. 

Leo

The most spiritually enlightened people always seem to be the most jolly and fun to be around. So a good barometer for your own spiritual progress (should that even matter to you) might just be your own level of lighthearted humor you are able to bring to life’s most mundane moments. Just remember humor is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder.

Virgo

Like every good Virgo, you are definitely way overly concerned with yourself and you sure do love to pass the blame onto everyone else. I’m just joking Virgo, but as a wise man once said, “sometimes the truest things in life are said in jest.” Don’t get all twisted up in knots reading this but please do remember that you are one half of any human interaction. 

Libra 

The balance of life you so desperately seek to maintain is a fallacy. The scales are more of a metaphorical wrecking ball, wildly swinging from one side to the other. Meanwhile you stand in the middle trying not to get hit. Here is some advice for you straight from an early 90’s rap song, “check yo self before you wreck yourself.” 

Scorpio 

Hard work does pay off but it can also wear you down. It’s kinda like that fire starting trick, where you ferociously rub two sticks together attempting to make a fire. It does work but not like you see in the movies. It takes a really long time and your blistered hands will not thank you. However after that fire helps you survive the night, you will forget all about that hard work and you will have a great story to tell. 

Sagittarius

“That’s way too much green chile!” said no New Mexican ever! People get pleasure from different things. Some like a fiery food experience while others enjoy cheese so stinky a skunk would run for the woods. Whatever your thing is, let’s just keep it personal, ok? 

Capricorn 

Feeling old sucks! Actually getting old doesn’t suck, it blows. It blows like the gentle winds of the sea. Slightly rusting your hair and before you know it, you’ve landed in America or India or wherever they thought they landed. Moral of the story is, you may feel old now but you will actually be old before you know it. So enjoy it while it lasts. 

Aquarius

There are two kinds of work in the world. The work that you have to do and don’t enjoy, and the work that you want to do and enjoy. The irony is that we often have to do the work that we don’t enjoy to be able to do the work that we do enjoy. And then there is always the 3rd option, just do nothing! You probably won’t choose the 3rd option so please make sure you are having a little bit of fun in the process.   

Pisces 

The great green toilet paper we Americans call money is such a funny thing. Without us all agreeing that it is worth what we say it’s worth, it would be worthless. But until an AI generated super coin has us all begging for a chip to be implanted into our digital bio-wallet, we will all just have to continue playing the game. Just remember, it’s the player, not the game!